Day 21: June 2, 2011

Explain your Scars:

My biggest scar is on my right arm. I fell off a skateboard when I was 18. I had played volleyball with my dad, and I was leaving to go home. He still had to ref another game, so I we had driven separate cars. My skateboard was in my car, and I saw it and thought, "Hey, an empty school, the perfect place to practice."

So I started practicing. I was trying to learn to ollie, the basic jump you need to start learning tricks. You tip the front of the board up by stepping hard on the back, jump, balance your feet evenly on the board, and land squarely.

I practiced for awhile but I wasn't making much progress. Then I stepped on the board, and it started moving. The front wheels hit a tiny little rock. If I had been going faster, I would have rolled right over it. But I wasn't going fast enough, and it stopped the front wheels. I kept going. I was falling face first over the front of the board and I thought, "I should put something in front of my face." So I lifted my arm. I landed on it. I jumped up and cradled it to my chest, the pain so big, it took me a minute to start crying. I picked up the skateboard with my other arm and went to find my dad in the gym.

He was still reffing the volleyball game, but he called a time out when I came in crying, hugging my skateboard, bleeding all over my brand new Calvin Klein sweatshirt. He had a friend who was there who was an EMT take a look at it. He said it was probably broken. It might be badly sprained, but was probably broken. My dad asked me if I could wait till he finished reffing his game. I said sure, and went to try and wash the blood out of my sweatshirt in the bathroom. When I was done with this, I went to check the game. Still going on. I went to my car and got a book, went back to the bathroom and wrapped my arm in cold wet paper towels, and sat down to read.

When the game was over, my dad had one of the players and his wife help us get my car back to my house, then he took me to the emergency room. Because I was 18 I had to fill out and sign the paperwork myself. With my broken right arm. It was awhile before I was admitted. They asked me if I wanted pain meds and at first I said no. I wanted to know what was going on, what was going to happen. I had x-rays, and tests. They kept asking me if I fell on something. There was a deep hole in one part of my arm, and they wanted to know if I fell on a sharp rock or stick. I told them no, there hadn't been anything on the ground, that's why I was practicing there. The x-rays were a puzzle to them too. Apparently the bones in my arm were straight, lined up, with this space between them where they were broken. Usually when a person comes in with a broken arm, the arm is still hanging out at the angle it broke. When I sat up, and cradled my arm, I had set it.
The hole that was bleeding was were my bone had poked out of my skin, then been pulled back in when I pulled it.

After an hour and a half, I still didn't know what was going on,they weren't telling me any of this, so I asked for meds. They knocked me out. They scheduled surgery for 6am the next morning. They woke me up a 5:30 to take me to surgery and knock me out again.

I woke up in the recovery room where I asked every nurse or tech that passed me for a comb or brush. I guess I was really worried about my hair.

I was in the hospital for four days. I have a long scar on each side of my arm where they opened it to operate lengthwise and a short horizontal scar where they stitched up the puncture wound.
I have fifteen metal screws, and two long metal plates in my right arm. I can set off airport alarms, if they are turned up high enough. I always wear short sleeves if I'm traveling so I can explain the metal.

Day 20: June 1, 2011

A regret you have:

I actually have a couple of these. I try not to, because I really believe the choices you make in life lead to the life you're living, and I try to take responsibility for my choices and the consequences thereof, but there are a few things I would have liked to done differently.

Regret one: I wish I had stayed in Minor League softball for one year. I was promoted to the Majors after a month, but I was a young player on a strong older team, and I ended up in the outfield. If I had stayed in minors, I would have been put in for the pitching camp over the winter, and I might have joined a team as junior pitcher.

Of course, if I had changed that, I wouldn't have had one of the best moments of my life in high school at a church softball game, where I was the only girl in the outfield. I was in right field, my brother was right center, our foreign exchange student Sebastien was in left center, and his friend Wayne was left. Our church was playing a bar team, and those batters looked at that outfield, and aimed for me. I caught most of what they hit to me, making that a big miscalculation on their parts.

The best moment was at the end of the game, we were up by one, they had two runners on. We had two outs, and their best hitter was coming out. He had watched his teammates bat to me, but he thought he could do better. He hit the ball. Before the bat even hit the ball, I was running. I got to the end of the field where the orange plastic webbing marked the outer reaches of the baseball diamond. I jumped. I caught that ball in the top of my glove like a snow cone. Perched in the webbing. Everyone held their breaths as I landed. Would I drop it? I didn't. I got the third out, my team won. My brother ran to me from right center, and picked me up and carried me in on his shoulders with that ball held above my head. It was amazing. One of my best memories of my brother.

Regret two: I wish I had done Running Start in high school. I would have graduated high school with an AA fourteen years ago, instead of finally earning one last year.

Of course, then I would have been a 14 year old college freshman, with nothing at all in common with my classmates.

Regret three: I wish I had been smarter with my money and my time in my twenties. I wish I had saved and planned, and worked, and gone back to school then instead of waiting till I was nearly 30. I finally got it together for J'sai, but I kind of wish I had gotten it together for me.

One thing I don't regret: My time in Phoenix. I learned so much about myself, and of course, J'sai came from that time.

Day 19: May 29, 2011

Your favorite quote:

This is easy for me, it's been the same since high school:

"Silence is the perfectest herald of joy. I were but little happy if I could say how much."
-Shakespeare in Much Ado About Nothing

And I have a second one, for the last 2 years and 11.5 months, For J'sai:

"You were made perfectly to be loved, and surely I have loved you, the idea of you my whole life long."
-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Day 17: May 29, 2010

A youtube video:

I follow a blog called Single Dad Laughing, which I highly recommend. He occasionally posts pictures, stories, and now a video of his son. I love to see them. His pictures are amazing and his son is beautiful. Enjoy!

Day 15: May 27, 2011

A picture of something you ate today:

30 day challenge: I failed.

I haven't posted since last Saturday. I started the bullet your whole day post, and I got as far as six o clock, but then I moved a bunch of stuff, and set up my room at my mom's house and cleaned, and fell into bed exhausted and haven't been back since. So if anyone is reading, I apologize. I am going to try to catch up. If I can figure out how to predate posts, then everything will be in order. If I can't, well... it will be out of order :)

Day 14: May 26, 2011

Someone who fascinates you and why:

James fascinates me. He is so big, so strong, could so easily hurt me, but doesn’t, wouldn’t. He has been so many places, seen and done so many things. I find it fascinating to listen to his stories, and amazing that he is interested in me. He is a beautiful and unique person, and I am so glad I met him, and that he is a part of my life. I hope to be fascinated by him for a long time.

Day 13: May 25, 2011

5 guys who are famous that you find attractive:

Bruce Willis: He's older, but still so damn sexy.

Chad Kroeger: His voice absolutely melts me.

Taye Diggs: Hot, hot, hot!

Tatum Channing: Bad boy who can be sweet. Do I need to say anything more?

Darius Rucker: Another singer, plus those eyes!

Day 12: May 24, 2011

Your Highs and Lows of the last year:

High: Meeting James
Low: Moving out of my apartment
High: Moving in with my mom
Low: Moving in with my mom's husband
High: J'sai is talking!
Low: J'sai won't stop talking
High: J'sai and Andrew go to the same day care
Low: J'sai had to leave his old day care, that he loved
High: I got a job!
Low: I make too much money for the state to help me with day care
High: I finished school!
Low: I have to pay back student loans
High: I'm where I'm supposed to be, doing what I'm supposed to do, and I will make it.

Day 11: May 23, 2011

Somewhere you'd like to move or visit:

I'd love to visit Ireland someday.

I've heard it's beautiful and very green.



I'd like to move to the edge of the Puget Sound someday. I love water and forest. I drove back to Port Angeles to visit my friend Danielle last summer, and driving up that coast felt like coming home. Port Angeles and Sequim have changed a lot, and I didn't get that feeling from them, but that coast, the trees, the water, that's what I want.

Day 9: May 21, 2011

The ipod shuffle:

I do not have an ipod, so I put on my Pandora. These are the first ten songs Pandora offered:

Goo Goo Dolls, Iris
Darius Rucker, Forever Road
Coldplay, Clocks
Third Eye Blind, Jumper
Keke Wyatt, If only you knew
Santana, into the night
3Doors Down, Be like that
Evanesence, Bring me to life
Daughtry, What about now
Beth Hart, Leave the light on


Pretty good selection. All songs I like :) Of course, that is the point of Pandora.

Day 8: May 20, 2011

Something I miss..

i had a totally different plan for this post. I was going to put up a picture of Phoenix and talk about the desert and what I miss from there, but there is something I miss more, and I miss it every day.

I miss sleeping in. My son is a morning person. No matter how late he was up the night before, he wakes up between 6:30 and 7 every day. Today he woke up at 6am. He spent 15 minutes playing with a little toy laptop that has shapes and plays music before he started calling for me. How did this happen to me? A confirmed night owl with a morning person for a child? And it's not like I can just leave him in the crib and roll over and go back to sleep.

He makes noise. He calls, he whistles, he talks.

"Mama, mama, mama. Mammmmaaaa, maaaammmmmaaa!" and he's added an new variation in the last couple of days.

"Mama, it's wake up time!"

He's so damn cute, and usually cheerful in the morning, happy to be awake and alive, learning and growing and becoming more every day.

Still.

I miss sleeping in.

Day 7: May 19, 2011

A Bible Verse...

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

This is so comforting to me. When I get in a bad place, I can think of this, and know I wasn't meant for bad places. I have a hope and a future, even if I can't see them.

Day 6: May 18, 2011

Somewhere you've traveled to...

I traveled to England when I was 16. I went with a group from school. Two English teachers, seven students, and one parent volunteer. We went for eight days. The first three nights we spent in a hotel in the country. We visited Stratford-on-Avon, Shakespeare's birthplace, and took a tour of his house. We had lunch in Anne Hathaway's cottage, which is a restaurant and garden. We also saw the Scottish Play at the theater there. Amazing to see Shakespeare performed in his birth town!

We visited Stonehenge, which was so beautiful. It's roped off, so you can't get too close, but still so impressive. This big empty plain, and these huge rocks, just there in the middle of it.

We went to Oxford, one of the major publishing towns of England, and the world. There is literally a bookstore on every corner. The Royal Library is there also. It has more books than the Library of Congress in the United States. This is my Mecca.

The last five days we spent in London, in a hotel on Piccadilly Circus. Our teachers told us they weren't going to do bed checks but not to cause an international incident. I think they all agreed we were a pretty good bunch of kids, and we weren't going to do anything too stupid. We got tube passes, and went all over London.

Tanner and I bought cheap seats to Les Miserable. We were way off in a corner, looking across the stage into the wings. I could see why it was hard to sell that seat, but it was great for us. We were theater students, and being able to see props and actors as they prepared to come out was very cool. They had some amazing sets. Truly inspiring.

We went out to a night club and had a couple of drinks. Tanner dared me to get a guy to kiss me, so I did. Oh, the power of youth, lol.

We went to the Tower of London and took the tour, saw the royal jewels. I bought a really gorgeous book of pictures of the jewels for a souvenir. We watched the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace. It was a big deal, but not the biggest, because the queen was not in residence at the time. She was at Windsor Castle.

We found a music store that was a whole skyscraper. I don't know the name of it, but Tanner could have moved in. I bought him a poster of Reservoir Dogs.

We toured Green Park and went to Speaker's Corner. That was fun! If you are 18" above the ground you can say anything you want. There were people there on milk crates, ladders, stages, everything. One guy was standing on a milk crate with his arms folded across his chest not speaking. More and more people were gathering around this guy, and finally somebody asks him why he's standing if he's not speaking. He says, "You want me to speak?" And everybody was going, "Yes, yes, say something!"

So he pulls himself up, really projects, and says, "All women should go back to the kitchen." The crowd gasps and pulls back, shocked that this guy, with mostly women in his crowd would dare stand up and say that in this day and age. But he goes on, this whole rant about how men were happier, and life was better for them when women were in the kitchen instead of the boardroom. People started arguing with him, including Tanner, but I just stood there and smiled. I knew exactly what he was doing. He had been quiet to gather a crowd, then he had deliberately provoked his crowd.

I think it pissed him off a little that I was smiling though. He had all these feminists and female advocates arguing with him, getting passionate, arguing with each other, all this turmoil and tension, and I'm just standing back totally amused. He even told his audience to shut up a couple of times. It was great, so much fun!

We had dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe, and Tanner stole me a menu. We saw three other plays, including a British comedy called Don't Dress for Dinner. It was so funny! Very British, word twisty, puns, visual puns, mistaken identities, etc. We took a tour of the Royal Theater, although we didn't see any plays there. I wish we could have. They were doing a Tom Stoppard play later in the summer, and were just finishing up Wind in the Willows. Tom Stoppard is my favorite British playwright after Shakespeare, and I acted the part of Toad in a children's theater production of Wind in the Willows just before we left on this trip. It seemed so coincidental. My teacher thought it wasn't a coincidence, that it was a sign that I would act there someday, but that was not to be.

One night, Tanner and I stayed out late, and hung out at Trafalgar Square. We were talking, playing, enjoying being young, and in an amazing city.

Oh, yeah, and on our last day there, they had their annual gay pride parade! I'd never seen anything like it. Talk about colorful!

One of the most amazing experiences of my life, and really cemented my desire to travel. I haven't done as much as I'd like, but I will! I'd like to see Ireland next :)

Day 5: May 17, 2011

A picture of something that makes you happy...

Nothing makes me happier than my son. He is the brightest light of my life. I love him. I love watching him grow and develop. I love each new stage of his life. I am especially happy when he is asleep :)

Day 4: May 16, 2011

A song to match my mood...




This was playing in my car on the way home from work. It seemed perfect!

Day 3: May 15, 2011

My Parents.

My parents are amazing. I want to be them when I grow up. They were married for twenty-four years, and had the most amicable divorce I've ever seen. They raised four kids, and half the neighborhood. They always had an open door policy in our house, our friends were welcome anytime for any reason. I remember them always together on what they wanted to do, what they wanted done. I don't know if it just worked out that way, or if they worked to make it that way, but I remember their unity.

My mom is my hero. She never breaks. She's so strong, so smart, and so capable.  She does more than anyone else I know. She goes longer, does more, and complains less. She is my guiding light. She is everything I aspire to be. Mom, if you read this, I love you.

She is currently raising my nephew Andrew, and is about to adopt him. Her husband is on the road as a truck driver, and she is running the house. She has two of her children living with her, and is regularly overrun with grandchildren. We tease her about needing a whip, a top hat, and a coat with tails to dress the part of ringmaster of our little circus.

She scrapbooks regularly, and until a month ago, she was actually caught up. I don't know any other scrapbooker who has ever been completely caught up. She works full time, and still manages to keep up on the house work, the mundane chores of a household, dishes, laundry, etc. We are helping her out, but sometimes you turn around, and whatever you were about to do is done.

She is beautiful, inside and out.

My dad is a rock. He is always there for me, I think sometimes even when he's not sure he wants to be. He has had many challenges in his life, and overcome so much. He cared for his mother, my grandmother, the last year of her life, and then continued to care for his stepfather, my grandfather, until he too passed.

I don't want to get to much into other people's lives and stories here, especially without permission, but his struggle with alcohol and his recovery is not a secret. He is living in Arizona. He has been with a new lady for a while. I've met her, and she is so nice, and amazing. I'm glad my dad found someone to be with. He loves me, believes in me, trusts me.

One of my favorite family stories is a time just after high school. My friend Julie was leaving for college, and her family had property on a nearby lake. She was having this big going away party out there. I went when I got off work and was only there for a little while when someone yelled, "The cops are coming." I hadn't been drinking, but I was underage, so I decided to take a walk along the beach. A couple of other people went with me, and we found a log and sat near the water, tossing little rocks in and talking. After the cops left,  I found Julie, wished her well at college, and went home. I found out the next day the cops had run the license plates of every car on the road. If it wasn't registered to someone who lived on the road, they called the person it was registered to. My car was in my dad's name at the time. When I was sitting on a log, the cops were calling my dad! They told him,"Sir, a car registered to you is parked out at the lake where we suspect there was underage drinking going on."
He asked them, "Is the car parked legally?"
They replied, "Well, yes."
And he said, "I'm going back to sleep."

I told him the next day that I had been out to a party at the lake to say goodbye to my friend, and there had been drinking there, and that I hadn't had anything to drink. He totally shocked me when he said, "I know."

I didn't know the cops called him. I didn't know how he knew. But I was glad he trusted me, and believed me when I told him I hadn't been drinking. Dad, if you ever read this, I love you. Thank you for everything you have done for me, everything you have taught me, and every time you have trusted me.

Day 2: May 14, 2011

So I read the entries my friends made on this subject, and they both chose something other than what you would traditionally think of as a first love story. For Deema it was books, and for Stephanie it was her cat. I think I’m going to go with what I think the challenge meant, and tell the story of my first romantic love. Otherwise I’ll really be copying Deema since mine was books too.

My first love was after high school. I dated in high school, but nothing serious. After high school, I started seeing this guy Monty. His family was old friends with a family from my church, and they had invited him to a couple of events, and bible study things. We met at a bible study right after a traumatic event in his life. He wasn’t in a relationship place, and I was just getting out of one, and didn’t want another. We met again eight or nine months later, and were studying for the ASFAB together. I wasn’t particularly interested in joining the military, but I do like to study and learn new things. (Yes, I am a geek, always have been.) A couple of weeks of getting together to study and his friend cracked a joke about his girlfriend. I was surprised, because I didn’t know he had a girlfriend. We stopped studying together after that.

Another eight or nine months goes by. I heard through the grapevine at church he and his girlfriend broke up. I ran into him at my place of employment. He asked for my number. I gave it to him. He called and asked me out. We went to Omelets Plus, a hole in the wall diner everybody called OPs. It had been Pete’s, so OPs meant both Old Pete’s and Omelets Plus. After eating we took a drive halfway to Clallam Bay and back. He spent the whole date talking about his ex and how it all went wrong. I was sympathetic, but honestly, that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about on our first date.

He called me again, and asked me out again. I don’t remember our second date so much. But our third date, his friend was in town, and he didn’t want to abandon him, so we went to the movies, the three of us. It was Fight Club. I was outvoted. His friend was very attractive, and I said we should set him up with my friend. He said that would be fun, so the next time his friend was in town, in two weeks we would set them up. We saw each other a couple of times between. Then we had the double date set up. My friend was not enthusiastic about being set up.  I guess neither was his friend. They set up a thumbs up/thumbs down signal for when my friend came out of her workplace.

I went in to get her, and we came back out. Until this point, neither of them had seen my friend. She is beautiful. We heard later that they completely forgot their thumbs up/thumbs down signal; they were too surprised and pleased by my friend. My friend and his hit it off, and they started dating. They were actually an official couple before we were.

Then one night we were hanging out on his parents couch where he was crashing, and talking late into the night. We had all the lights off, and he started this conversation about how would I introduce him. I knew what he meant, but I wanted him to say it first, so I played dumb. I had to play dumb for over two hours before he got the hint and asked me to be his girlfriend. (It was a long two hours, and a very circular conversation.)

We were together for over three months before we slept together. I knew then that he loved me. He had told me that he’d never slept with someone unless he loved them, but neither one of us had said it yet. After another month or two of being together, he would tell me to go to sleep because he wanted to tell me something. I was afraid to love, or be in love. I wasn’t sure I was ready. I wanted to hear him say it though. I would try to stay awake to hear it, but he was pretty careful. Then one night he asked me if I was asleep. I told him no. Instead of telling me to go to sleep because he had something he wanted to tell me, he told me he was glad, because he had something he wanted to tell me. He wanted me awake. He said “I love you.” I thought about it for a minute. Just a minute, but it must have been a very long minute for him. Then I said it back. “I love you too.”  He had been telling me in my sleep for a month and half, and I knew saying would change my life, but right then, I felt it.

We were together for a little over three years. I moved to Vancouver, he followed me. We lived together. We took everything in slow stages. His best friend married my best friend. The one and only time I have ever set anyone up, and I hit a grand slam

            Matt and Danielle, my one and only fix up, still married, three kids :)

I found out later that he wanted to marry me. He asked my dad around the time of my friend’s wedding. My dad told him he didn’t think I was ready, but he could ask if he wanted to. He didn’t ask.

He joined the Air Force. I encouraged him to. I went to his Basic Training Graduation. I loved him. I wanted to marry him. He never asked. He got assigned to England. He went. After a few months, he stopped writing. (He was never much of a writer anyway.) He hardly ever called. The love just faded away.

Day 1: May 13, 2011

                      Introduction, Introduction, is that all you think about?
    
I am starting this blog and this challenge on the same day, so bear with me while I figure it all out. My name is Kristina. I am a single mother, a pharmacy technician, and a copycat/internet follower. I have followed my friend Deema from LiveJournal, to Myspace, to Facebook, and now to Blogger. I scrapbook, read compulsively, and eat too much junk food. This is my second blog, since I still occasionally post to LiveJournal. So here goes, fifteen interesting facts:

#1. I love being a mother. It was so hard at first, figuring out what to do for him, what he needed, how to read him. It seemed like every day was a struggle, but we learned each other. He is learning to talk, to communicate the way I do, and I still follow his lead on what he needs and sometimes on what he wants.

#2. I dream in color. I always have.

#3.I like to collect things. I collect books, nutcracker figures, and somehow just stuff. I'm not so obsessive that I can't throw stuff away if it needs it, but I like things.

#4. I hate being barefoot. It goes back to when I was a kid, and we'd go to the lake, but to get to the beach we always went to you had to follow a gravel path. Either coming because I forgot my shoes, or going because my feet were wet and I didn't want to get my shoes wet, I always ended up walking on that gravel in bare feet. And it hurt! So I like my shoes. (Not like Deema does though)

#5. I read Shakespeare for fun.

#6. I believe in love and happily ever after, just never thought it would happen to me. Maybe it will.

#7. I just passed my 90 probation at my pharmacy technician job, so I am officially employed.That means the paychecks keep coming!

#8. I love music. I would have a sound track to my life if I could, the scary music when walking at night, the swelling romantic strings before a first kiss. Music is the soul.

#9. One of my favorite indulgences is an afternoon nap. I don't get them very often, so I treasure them when I do.

#10. According to friends, I am a good, but slightly crazy driver. One friend described it as, "She drives like the other cars are obstacles." Aren't they?

#11. I love Christmas. It is my favorite holiday. I love the decorations, and the lights, and the wrapping, and the presents, and the songs, and the everything.

#12. I am a night owl. I would get up at 10 or 11 everyday if I could, and stay up to 1 or 2 in the morning. My best time is 6:30pm to 7ish. My son is  a morning person.  He wakes up every day between 6:30 and 7:30am. Ugh, mornings! If they weren't needed to separate the night from bumping into the afternoon, I'd do away with them!

#13. I secretly like jewelry, although I forget to wear it often.

#14. My least favorite chore is the dishes.

#15. I can use power tools. I have my own drill, and used it in my apartment for fixing and arranging some things.

Bonus: I like taking pictures, but I am not a good photographer.

So here goes, day one. I hope it lasts!