Day 20: June 1, 2011

A regret you have:

I actually have a couple of these. I try not to, because I really believe the choices you make in life lead to the life you're living, and I try to take responsibility for my choices and the consequences thereof, but there are a few things I would have liked to done differently.

Regret one: I wish I had stayed in Minor League softball for one year. I was promoted to the Majors after a month, but I was a young player on a strong older team, and I ended up in the outfield. If I had stayed in minors, I would have been put in for the pitching camp over the winter, and I might have joined a team as junior pitcher.

Of course, if I had changed that, I wouldn't have had one of the best moments of my life in high school at a church softball game, where I was the only girl in the outfield. I was in right field, my brother was right center, our foreign exchange student Sebastien was in left center, and his friend Wayne was left. Our church was playing a bar team, and those batters looked at that outfield, and aimed for me. I caught most of what they hit to me, making that a big miscalculation on their parts.

The best moment was at the end of the game, we were up by one, they had two runners on. We had two outs, and their best hitter was coming out. He had watched his teammates bat to me, but he thought he could do better. He hit the ball. Before the bat even hit the ball, I was running. I got to the end of the field where the orange plastic webbing marked the outer reaches of the baseball diamond. I jumped. I caught that ball in the top of my glove like a snow cone. Perched in the webbing. Everyone held their breaths as I landed. Would I drop it? I didn't. I got the third out, my team won. My brother ran to me from right center, and picked me up and carried me in on his shoulders with that ball held above my head. It was amazing. One of my best memories of my brother.

Regret two: I wish I had done Running Start in high school. I would have graduated high school with an AA fourteen years ago, instead of finally earning one last year.

Of course, then I would have been a 14 year old college freshman, with nothing at all in common with my classmates.

Regret three: I wish I had been smarter with my money and my time in my twenties. I wish I had saved and planned, and worked, and gone back to school then instead of waiting till I was nearly 30. I finally got it together for J'sai, but I kind of wish I had gotten it together for me.

One thing I don't regret: My time in Phoenix. I learned so much about myself, and of course, J'sai came from that time.